Boris Johnson loves football. He loves it when he is trying to score political points from Russia by threatening to pull the national team out of the World Cup.

And he loves it when the over-promoted cabal of incompetents with which he surrounds himself can moralise about salaries and transfer fees to divert from their own failings and inadequacies.

Most of all, he loves its opium for the masses quality, which is why he was so keen on it being piped into homes during lockdown.

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